


Christmas at the Homestead

by The Wicked Symphony (SymphonyWizard)



Series: Of Shields and Widow’s Bites [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, BAMF Clint Barton, BAMF Laura Barton, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Rating May Change, Romance, Steve Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-08-29 20:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16751029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SymphonyWizard/pseuds/The%20Wicked%20Symphony
Summary: 'Tis the season!When Natasha hears a certain phrase and is unprepared for it, she puts up her barriers and runs.  She thinks she is safe in the home of her best friend, but what happens when her best friend and his wife pull an intervention?Christmas fluff all about, feelings brought out in the open, and Natasha being forced to ask herself the ultimate question:  How does she truly feel about Steve?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phoebe_Snow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebe_Snow/gifts), [Scaramou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scaramou/gifts).



_(Merry Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it_  
_With a note saying, "I love you, " I meant it_  
 _Now, I know what a fool I've been_  
 _But if you kissed me now_  
 _I know you'd fool me again_

_Last Christmas, I gave you my heart_

_But the very next day you gave it away_

_This year, to save me from tears_

_I’ll give it to someone special_

 

The song drones on as Natasha drives along.  She left New York yesterday morning an hour before the sun came up and now she’s driving along a back road in the Iowan countryside.  She is too far from any radio signal radius, so she relies on her iPod with she has hooked into her car via auxiliary cable. 

She needed to get out of the city.  There were too many emotions in New York and so she left.  All she can think about is what Steve thought when he saw her note next to his bed.  Since he is only one of two people that she is close to who reads and writes in the Cyrillic alphabet—actually, he’s a lot better at it than Clint, if she says so herself—she writes her private messages to him in Russian.  She told him that she needed to clear her head and for him not to look for her. 

For the first three hours of Natasha’s trip, she cried her eyes out.  Driving well above the speed limit and managing to evade traffic police, it’s amazing she didn’t even crash her Corvette.  She didn’t even stop for a meal until she reached Lucas County, Ohio.  When she arrived, she checked her phone. 

Steve is, thankfully, not a needy boyfriend.  He gives her space when she needs it, and she does the same for him.  Still, she would be worried if he wasn’t concerned as to why she left so suddenly and without much of an explanation.  He tried to call her four times, left one voicemail, and finally a couple of text messages.  The first text message echoed his voicemail, asking her what’s going on and that he was sorry if he hurt her feelings or anything.  The second text message merely told her about some elaborate Christmas Eve party that Tony had planned. 

Steve didn’t go into much detail about party, but knowing Tony, he would most definitely host some elaborate, if not tacky party in celebration of the holidays.  Thanksgiving was crazy enough.  Tony made an appearance at the Macy’s Parade.  He even licensed a group of people to dress up as each of the Avengers. 

Natasha was not impressed with who was chosen to dress up as her.  She takes good care of her body, but being represented by a large-breasted, hourglass-bodied supermodel with dyed hair was in very poor taste.  And the poses that she did for the camera?  Apparently the files that she released to the public, even if much of it was encrypted, did little to change the fact that she is still the most sexualized member of the Avengers. 

She doesn’t need a supermodel dressed up as her blowing kisses into the camera.  She can be sultry, but unless it’s in front of Steve, it’s a weapon usually followed by death or serious injury.

A few days ago, the Avengers celebrated their latest victory.  Normally, Hydra extremists are left to Coulson and his revived—and highly secretive—S.H.I.E.L.D.  Natasha has respect for the man and people like Agent May and Agent Morse, but was once a large organization, is now pretty much just a ragtag group of high trained people.  They might as well be a group of cowboys locked in a constant battle with Hydra.

In the long run, for people like Natasha, Steve, and Clint, they are all happy to have S.H.I.E.L.D. in their past.  They are tired of being lackeys for the government. 

So where the Avengers tend to come in is when people like Baron von Strucker experiment on humans with superhuman abilities.  So far, he has evaded the Avengers.  Sometimes though, the Avengers act as an unofficial counterterrorism force. 

As such, in the wake of the holidays, a group of mercenaries infiltrated a foundation for a large children’s charity in London.  Apparently it wasn’t enough to steal the money from the fundraiser; they wanted to “send a strong message to the head of the foundation.”  Hundreds of toys were collected for underprivileged children, but the mercenary intercepted three truckloads of toys.  Once they seized them, they replaced the toys within with modified toys laced with enough Semtax to blow a crater in the city. 

The mercenaries proved to be highly skilled, most likely ex-military.  What drew Thor’s interest is that one of them got ahold of an ancient Asgardian artifact that granted the user supernatural strength.  The man was strong enough to best Iron Man. 

Tony, being as vain as he can be, didn’t take being bested in a fight very well.  He nearly blew the whole operation—literally.  Still, they managed to stop the detonation and saved everyone in the process.  As a result of their victory, each team member was sponsored by the charity.  

Steve is very uncomfortable with being given handouts for being who he is, so he respectfully turned down the offer.

Natasha could guess what Clint would do with some of his share of the sponsor.  No doubt, he would use some of the share for Christmas presents for his wife and kids.  She herself has bought both his kids a present, as well as one for Laura. 

She has promised not to keep secrets from Steve.  For the most part, she has kept that promise.  Still, Clint has not given her permission to share the secret of his family.  In turn, Clint doesn’t even know about her relationship with Steve.  Knowing Clint, part of her is betting that he has already figured out that she and Steve are romantically involved. 

When the team returned to the Avengers Tower, a party was thrown in celebration of their victory.  Steve felt that the party might have been a little premature. One of the mercenaries that he and Natasha managed to get to talk before he bit a cyanide capsule only said one word:  Crossbones. 

What is “Crossbones”?  Is it an organization?  Is it a codename for a potentially cataclysmic event?  Steve got her discussing it over drinks and eventually they wondered if the question should have been this:  _who_ is “Crossbones”?

Eventually, she got tired of talking shop and coaxed him upstairs with her.  Once they got to his floor, she attacked him, tearing off each other’s clothes and stumbling into bed.  Steve sure knows how to make her scream.  She might even admit that he’s addictive.  Before him, no one had touched her with so much reverence, treated her like she was priceless.  Being with him is not the first time that she was able to be somewhere without feeling like a spy, but she’s never felt more like a desirable woman with him.

Yet all it took was one simple three-worded phrase to get her to put up all her barriers again.

She needed to get away.

So she packed a couple of suitcases and she left. 

She’s very close to her destination now.  She has passed a series of no trespassing signs, but now she is about to pass the most dangerous phase of the barriers.  Braving the cold air, she slows to a stop and leans out the window towards a low-hanging tree acting as something of a natural archway over the road.  A blue light emits from a thin branch and shines in her eyes. 

She has to blink back a little after it deactivates.  If she had been a trespasser, by now a rocket launcher would have risen out of what’s left of the pavement in front of her and blown her up.  At least that’s what Clint always told her.  He has never actually had a trespasser, so she has no idea what would actually happen.

She is sure that the isolation is rough on his kids.  She can only imagine how much worse it will get as they become teenagers.  His kids are homeschooled, using a specially designed online curriculum that has been proven impossible to trace.  Privately, Clint has talked about retiring so as to give his family a chance at a normal life. 

She passes the final threshold onto Clint’s farm.  She slows down as the road beneath her car turns into gravel.  This being mid-December, this countryside is covered in thin sheet of snow, illuminating everything in white.  Hopefully the snow isn’t too powdery.  Snow is no fun if you can’t make snowballs or snowmen. 

It reminds her of her youth back in Russia.  As a child in what was then the Soviet Union, she had never even heard of Christmas, nor seen a Christmas tree until the days of the Red Room when she was fed anti-American propaganda.  To this day, she still hates _Snow White and the Seven Dwarves_ , first because of what she was taught it represented and eventually because of the memory of how subliminal messages were put into it in order to brainwash her.  One of her missions to the States was during a December and even though she was all for the Soviet cause at the time, she found she really enjoyed the Christmastime festivities.

It wasn’t until she defected that she truly got to participate and she is forever grateful to Clint and his family for her first true Christmas.

His house is in view now and she parks near the barn.  As she gets out of the car, she smiles broadly as she sees Laura.  They lock eyes. 

“Nat?” asks the brunette, coming up to greet her. 

Natasha holds out her arms. 

“It’s so good to see you!” laughs Laura as they hug each other. 

“You too, Laura,” agrees Natasha, laughing as well.

Laura breaks away from her and looks her over.  “You look good.  And your hair is shorter.”

Natasha blushes a little, resisting the urge to reach up and pat her shoulder-length waves.  “You look great too.  But there is something different about you,” she adds with a playful frown.

“Yup,” confirms Laura.  Her eyes conspicuously flick downward.

Natasha’s eyes bulge out of her skull.  “You’re pregnant again?” she squeals.  She’s practically jumping, having abandoned all reservations.

Laura nods happily.  “Due August 1st, next year.”

“Boy or girl?” asks Natasha.  “If it’s a girl, she better be Natasha.”

“I’m not sure yet,” replies Laura.  “I’ll find out at my next sonogram.  But, if it is a girl, she will definitely be little Natasha.”

Natasha’s eyes glisten with happiness.

“Now, let’s go inside,” invites Laura.  “We don’t want to keep Cooper and Lila from their Auntie Nat, do we?”

Natasha’s heart thuds in anticipation at seeing her godchildren.  “No we do not.”  But knowing both Clint and Laura, how long will it before they call her out on her real reason for being here?


	2. Chapter Two

“Is that me?” asks Natasha, smiling at Lila Barton. 

“Yeah,” replies the little brunette, pointing to a ludicrous stack of Reese’s cups with pretzel mini-sticks for arms and red icing for hair.  “And that’s Mommy, Daddy, Cooper, and me.”

Natasha laughs at the girl’s creativity.  Almost as soon as she walked into the door, she was attacked by her favorite little terrors.  Sadly, little Lila is the only one who is still small enough for her to pick up, but even she is starting to get too heavy.  At least, once their baby brother or sister—hopefully sister—is born, there will be another child for her to hold.

Her godchildren barely gave her enough time to remove her coat and take her suitcases upstairs to the guest bedroom before they dragged her into the kitchen.  They were making a big gingerbread house and what kind godmother would Natasha be if she didn’t help them? 

Laura Barton is a great baker and the pieces she made from scratch for the gingerbread house were perfect.  It took a lot of willpower for Natasha to avoid taking a bite out of those paper-sized pieces of gingerbread.  To compensate, Laura also made several batches of gingersnaps.  Some of them are being used to make Christmas trees, which she and Cooper are expertly making.  Each tree is made of four different sized gingersnap cookies, held together with icing.  Cooper already took care of that and now Laura is lathering each “tree” with green icing and using a needle to poke at the icing, giving them a prickly look.

Natasha has been tasked with decorating the house.  To make the house look like it is made of logs, she has been covering the sides and the roof with chocolate covered pretzel sticks.  She has all the sides done; now she is working on the roof. 

She savors these moments.  Since she walked through the door, she felt a weight lift off her.  She’s not Natasha Romanov, lethal assassin, Avenger, former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, former K.G.B. agent, nor some sexualized, overhyped superwoman in a leather cat suit.  She’s just Auntie Nat.  Besides Steve Rogers’ girlfriend no one knows about, it’s her favorite version of herself. 

“When do we get to eat this house?” asks Cooper. 

“We have to wait for your daddy to get home, silly,” laughs Natasha, not taking her eyes off of her task.  “Don’t you want Daddy to see what we’ve made before it’s condemned?”

Cooper groans.  He’s young, but he’s also a precocious little boy.  If she remembers what Clint told her, he is at an eighth grade reading level!  For his last birthday, one which Natasha was unable to attend, she sent him a box set of the entire Harry Potter series.  Clint wasn’t too happy that she gave his son that gift.  Not only because he was jealous that she gave him the gift, but also because it became that much harder for Laura to make sure he was getting his schoolwork and chores completed before he started reading for fun. 

Natasha accidentally breaks a pretzel stick.  “Darn it!” she grumbles.  Everyone looks up at her.  Exchanging a subtle look with Laura, she’s thankful that she remembered to use a child-friendly swearword.  Mostly to amuse his children, Clint once made her sit in a corner for accidentally using the _F_ word.  He probably would have made her suck on a bar of soap if he knew it wouldn’t come back to haunt him later. 

Laura chuckles.  “Don’t worry; there is plenty more.”

Natasha smiles and gives the broken halves to Cooper and Lila. 

“Hey, why does Lila get the bigger half?” whines Cooper. 

“Because I’m Auntie Nat’s favorite,” responds Lila, taking a dramatic bite of the pretzel.  Then she yelps.  “Mommy, Cooper kicked me!”

“Both of you, enough,” Laura admonishes sternly.  “It’s just a pretzel.  Besides, once we are done with this gingerbread house, you’ll each have plenty of whatever to choose from.  But if you can’t behave, neither of you will get a single bite of it.  Do you understand me?”

No matter how much the Barton’s consider her family, Natasha still gets a little uncomfortable when she has to witness Laura or Clint parenting their children. 

Lila and Cooper bow their heads. 

“Yes, Mom,” they reply. 

After a moment or two, Laura sighs and her face softens.  “Oh, kids, come here and give Mommy a kiss.”

Natasha smiles as the children rise from their seats and go to kiss their mother.  She can barely hold back her own giggle as Laura wraps an arm around each of them and plants a kiss on their foreheads with a loud _mmchwa_.  In turn, they plant a similar kiss on both her cheeks.

“Now, why do you take a break and go play,” suggests Laura. 

“Can Auntie Nat come?” begs Lila.

She and Cooper give Natasha a hopeful look. 

“Later, but first she and Mommy have to have a big-girl chat,” replies Laura.

Natasha’s face falls slightly.  This can’t be good.  Before she can offer her own opinion on the matter, Lila and Cooper offer her a big hug and then race each other to the door.  “Don’t forget your hats and gloves,” she reminds them as they start putting on their coats and boots.  “It’s cold out.”

“Will you come and help us make a snowman later?” Cooper’s voice is so small.  It’s as if he’s embarrassed to be asking.

“Oh, do you really think I’d let you make a snowman without me?” jokes Natasha, raising an eyebrow.

Her godson shares a look with his sister. 

“Okay go play,” Natasha shoos.

Once they are out the door, Laura relaxes a little.  “They never run out of energy,” she laments.  She turns to Natasha.  “You want a beer?”

Natasha frowns, her eyes flicking to her friend’s belly.  “Laura, you’re pregnant.  You’re really going make me drink alone when it’s not even three in the afternoon?”

Laura considers that.  “Well then, how about hot chocolate?”

“Do you have mini marshmallows?”

“Do you remember whose house you’re in?”

The two women laugh as Laura gets up and puts a kettle of water on the stove.  Once she has the burner on, she goes to sit on a couch.  Natasha joins her. 

“How have you been, Nat?” asks Laura.

How does she answer that?  Between being an Avenger, wandering around the globe with Steve and Sam Wilson searching in vain for Bucky, stealing private moments with Steve, there is so much to share that is worth sharing.  Laura laughs, probably sensing her struggle. 

“Okay, how has it been since ‘Black Widow’ started becoming a household name?” asks Laura. 

That’s a question she can answer.  “Before or after I released those files to the public?”

“Any part of it.”

Natasha sighs as she sinks further into the couch.  “We both know how I got that name, so it’s nice having good deeds attached to that name as well.”  She laughs mirthlessly.  “I’ve even started seeing action figures based off me.”

Laura laughs.  “I’ve seen those too.  Cooper wanted a whole Avengers set, but I didn’t think you, or Clint would like that.”

“Clint might; I would probably just use them for target practice.”

“And one day, Cooper and Lila will likely use their old toys for target practice,” adds Laura.  “Clint’s not trying to steer them towards archery, but I have seen both of them eyeballing archery sets whenever we are given an opportunity to go into town.  What’s it like being the only woman on the team?”

“Mm, sometimes I feel like I’m always picking up after those boys,” Natasha laments.  “The media sexualizes me; _Saturday Night Live_ makes me look like a sweet-talking slut with a nasty kick; sometimes I actually do find myself using my sexuality to my advantage on a mission.”  Although, the last mission that involved her doing that, she got to dance with Steve, so that’s upside.  Being who they are, it’s hard enough to be inconspicuous and Natasha has spent a lifetime mastering that skill.

Usually when they go on those missions, they leave out Tony.  He can barely stay inconspicuous to save his life; except for that time when he was Tennessee during that time everyone thought he was dead.  She remembers calling Pepper to offer her condolences.  She, Steve, and Clint had even got drinks together.  When they found out that he was indeed alive the whole time, it just ended up being a drink amongst friends. 

They would never hear the end of it if Tony knew that for an hour all they could do was talk about some of the few nice things about him.  Steve couldn’t get drunk, so he had even less excuse that Natasha or Clint.

“Are you seeing anyone?” asks Laura. 

Natasha gives the woman a sideways glance.  “You ask me that nearly every time that we see each other.”

Laura shrugs, rising to her feet as the kettle begins to whistle.  “Sorry I don’t like the thought of my husband’s best friend being lonely.”

“I’m not lonely,” Natasha argues, but then stops as she realizes just how defensive she sounded. 

Laura faces her as she pours water into two mugs.  “Oh my, _has_ Natasha found herself a man?”

“No she has not,” she replies.  Lying is one of her greatest skills, having even managed to beat that elaborate lie detector Nick Fury designed.  Yet here she is finding herself struggling to keep her relationship with Steve a secret.  And Laura is realizing it. 

“Wow, Natasha Romanov unable to tell a lie, is the world coming to an end?” she jokes as she comes back with steaming mugs of hot chocolate and a plate of gingersnaps.  “You know you’re not going to be able to avoid the question for much longer.”

Natasha scowls as she takes the mug and blows on the rim a little bit.  She takes a tentative sip.  It’s a little hot.  She sets it down on the coffee table to give it a minute to cool.  “Okay, fine, yes I am seeing someone.”

Laura’s smile broadens.  “Tell me everything.”

“Is this an interrogation?”

“If you want,” the pregnant woman replies with a smirk. 

“Alright, so he’s a bit of an old-fashioned sort of guy,” explains Natasha.  She might actually be enjoying this.  “He actually knows how to respect a woman, always holding the door open for me to walk through first, but he can be a bit awkward about it.  He’s also an artist.  I don’t think he will ever be confident enough to present his work at an art gallery, but he’s quite talented.”  She can think of a couple times where she would wake up, usually without clothes, only to see him sitting in a corner bent over his sketchbook. 

His bangs would be in his face, the morning sun would be casting a silhouette out of him, and his hair would shine like gold.  He would have a tense look upon his face like he was seriously concentrated on what he was drawing.  Even if it wasn’t her he was drawing, for as long as she has known him, he never looks more at peace than when his charcoal pencils are dancing along the pages of his sketchbook.  It’s calming as well as arousing. 

Natasha returns from her thoughts.  “He also doesn’t really like bullies.  He actually spent a long time in his youth standing up to bullies even though it usually got him hurt, but he never backed down.  His eyes are like a clear summer sky with the twinkle of sapphires.  And he’s also stupidly handsome, and I do mean ‘stupid’.”

She realizes that she started looking out towards the window and her eyes return to Laura.  Damn, if she wasn’t pregnant, she would slap that grin right off her face. 

“Wow, you haven’t just fallen hard for this guy; you’ve face-planted a sidewalk from twenty-story building!”  Laura sets down her mug and flings herself at Natasha with a hug.

Even as she blushes furiously, Natasha returns the hug.  When Laura releases her she gazes hard into her eyes.  “So, what’s the lucky guy’s name?”

“That…will have to wait another time,” Natasha replies defiantly.

A wicked grin spreads across Laura’s lips.  “It wouldn’t be some guy named Steve, would it?  Tall, ‘stupidly handsome’ and ‘old-fashioned’, right?”

She’s not getting out of that one.  “How did you know?”

“About an hour before you arrived, I got a call from my husband telling me about some poor guy whose girlfriend ran out on him and didn’t know why.  Why did you run off?  And for God’s sake, be honest.  It’s the holidays.”

Natasha turns away from her friend.  “It’s complicated.”  The word earns a punch to her shoulder.  Even with a baby in her womb, the farmer’s wife packs a mean punch.  “He said he loved me,” she explains quietly.

Laura thankfully holds back any sign of glee.  “And that is bad because…?”

The former assassin looks her in the eye.  “Laura, he’s America’s premiere golden boy.  I’m an ex-K.G.B. assassin who your husband was sent to kill once.  And in case you haven’t realized, Steve and I have gone to great lengths to keep our relationship as secret as possible.  I don’t know if I deserve him, Laura.”

“How long have you two been dating?” 

“Eight months.”

“And you still think you don’t deserve him?”

Natasha shakes her head.  “I don’t know, okay?”

Laura takes a long sip of her hot chocolate.  “Well, you’re going to have to figure it out, my friend.  Because we speak, my husband is on his way home…with Steve.”

The redhead narrows her eyes.  Now she is really in trouble. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have made myself hungry for a gingerbread house with this chapter.


	3. Chapter Three

“How long have you known that Nat and I were dating?”

“Oh, so you’re on a ‘Nat’ basis with her now?” teases Clint as he drives along the deserted back road.  “I can tell that nothing ever really escapes you.  I can see why Natasha likes you so much.”

“I’m not sure about that,” mutters Steve.

“Oh, shut up, Cap, she likes you,” Clint argues. 

“No one is shooting at us; don’t call me ‘Cap’.”

“Okay, Steve,” Clint corrects himself.  “But to answer your question, I’ve probably known Natasha longer than anybody who’s still alive.  I know when she’s keeping secrets.  I realized that there was something more than friendship probably back in…May?  Then my suspicions were confirmed on the Fourth of July.  You two did a stellar job of hiding it, I won’t lie, but even the Black Widow can’t hide when she’s in love.

“Then you came out of that tacky party with a sketchbook.  I don’t think anyone knew that you had artistic abilities.  If anyone did, it would have been Natasha.  You two have worked together, fought together, survived the wilderness together, and possibly shared secrets with each other that even I don’t know about.  I guess congratulations are in order.”

Steve allows himself a smile.  If anything, he is already grateful that he hasn’t found himself on the wrong side of an arrow.  “Speaking of which, I never did find out what happened after I disappeared from that party Tony threw for me.”

Clint laughs.  “Stark, unsurprisingly, got very drunk and loudly talked about Pepper Potts’ survival of the Extremis virus last year.  He also talked in painful detail about her breasts as if they were a schematic to yet another one of his suits.”

Steve shudders.  “Did he scare off the crowd?”

“No, actually they were quite entertained,” replies Clint.  “It was hard enough to understand him considering how intoxicated he was.”

“Yeah, doesn’t he tend to talk really fast when he’s drunk?”

“And his speech was slurred enough that ‘Pepper’ sounded like ‘Pudder’.”

“Charming,” Steve grunts.  “I wonder how Tony would feel if I told him that Natasha threw a better party than him,  At least a party I enjoyed, anyway.”

“He’d probably get a bit upset…and then start to wonder if Natasha has done something to you.  Does he know about you and Nat?”

Steve raises an eyebrow.  “If Tony knew about it, do you really think that he would be able to shut up about it?”

Clint considers that as he takes a sip from a bottle of water.  “Good point.  The fact is, I’m happy for you Steve.  You seem to make her happy and the two of you deserve it more than anyone I know.”

He has no idea how happy Steve is to hear that, but something troubles him.  “So you aren’t…?”

Clint makes a brave move by taking his eyes off the road long enough to look him hard in the eye.  “If I thought for one minute that you would break my best friend’s heart, you’d be dead already.”

Steve gulps, but he quickly finds a comeback.  “And then you’d likely be dead because I don’t think Natasha would take too kindly to you killing me.”

“Agreed,” snorts Clint as his eyes return to the road.  “Ah, we’re almost here.  One more thing I need from you, Steve.”

“Anything.”

“Not many people know this and I’d like to keep it that way,” begins Clint, sounding unusually serious as he brings the car to a halt.  “I have a family, a wife and two kids with a third on the way.”

Steve stares at him.  He holds back his offer of congratulations.  Everyone has secrets, but that is one hell of a secret. 

“When I joined S.H.I.E.L.D., Fury arranged for my family to live off the grid for their safety,” explains Clint, his voice turning very tender.  It reminds Steve of how he is when talking about his mother.  Other than Fury and Natasha, you’re now the only one who knows about them, so I am only going to ask this once.  Can I trust you to keep my family a secret?”

Steve takes his time with his answer.  Answer too quickly, and it might come off as less sincere than what he intends.  Too late and the man might assume the worst about his hesitation.  With a deep breath, he extends his hand.  “I won’t tell a soul,” he swears. 

The archer seems to accept his oath and grasps his hand in a firm handshake.  “Then welcome to my home.”  The car starts moving again and soon they come to yet another stop.  Steve sees a hidden device come out of the ground.  A callbox, he is sure.  Clint rolls down his window and leans out.  A retinal scan appears, similar to the clearance checkpoints that Steve remembers from his stint with S.H.I.E.L.D.  The light turns green.

“Your turn, Rogers,” says Clint.  Steve leans across the seats and puts his face in range of the scanner.  Clint reaches out and punches in a code that must be a bypass.  Surely enough, after he punches in the code, the callbox passes Steve. 

“What would have happened if I was an intruder?” he asks, fearing the answer.

“A machine gun would have popped out of road and you would have had ten second to clear out before you were blown up,” Clint deadpans. 

“Has that actually happened?”

“No,” replies Clint.  “My family does venture off the property sometimes, but those who do know she exists are under the impression that she is a widow raising her children on her own.  Outside the property, my wife has made herself a reputation of having no interest in men.”  The mention of his wife brings a smile to the archer’s face. 

It’s an interesting sight.  Clint is probably the least powered member of the Avengers. He also has a decent sense humor that makes him nice to have around, like a quintessential older brother of sorts to everyone.  The revelation that he has a family, seeing the way he smiles, even sits up straighter when he talks about them, gives him so much more depth.  Probably more than any of the Avengers, he has everything. 

He has a family.  Thor has a family, but if the Battle of New York is any indicator, it’s a severely dysfunctional one. 

What would that be like?  What would it be like to have a family to come home to?  Steve lost his family long before he crashed into the Arctic.  He never knew his father; his mother died of tuberculosis when he was eighteen; Bucky “died” in their effort to capture Dr. Armin Zola.  Bucky is miraculously still alive and so far Steve’s search for him has been in vain. 

Sometimes not even Natasha’s words of comfort are enough to lessen his hopelessness every time a new, possible clue to Bucky’s whereabouts leads to yet another dead end. 

He would like to have a family someday.  He can just picture it.  A lovely wife, a child or two with a lovely mix his and his wife’s features, living out a much deserved retirement somewhere.  Brooklyn is his childhood home, but given this life, how could he possibly raise a family in peace and safety?  He’s no farmer, but he wouldn’t mind living on a secluded farm.  It doesn’t have to farm.  It can just be a beautiful patch of nowhere. 

So lost in his imagination, he fails to notice the property that he and Clint have arrived at.  Steve’s eyes become glued to the scenery.  All around are leafless trees, giving at least some of the property the illusion of a valley with no mountains.  Occasionally, there is a break in that valley, exposing the surrounding hills that stretch as far as the eye can see.  The trees themselves offer an interruption to the whiteness of the land.  He would definitely see more if he drew closer, but even from here he can see the tangle of branches encased in snow and ice, giving it all the look of a crocheted quilt. 

A quilt crocheted with all the controlled randomness and life nature has to offer.

Everywhere, there is whiteness and snowflakes the size of Steve’s thumbs fall to the ground with the steadiness of a mother’s caress.  Where there are no trees, the line between the snow-covered fields and the sky is somewhat blurred. 

He might as well be staring into the vastness of a carefully folded sheet of paper or into the invisible layers of a multi-tiered wedding cake.  The sky seems to go up and curl in on itself like a cake roll.  Steve makes himself hungry just by comparing the world to dessert. 

The tangles of the trees are so untamed, it’s like they are a gateway into an American wilderness Steve has never been exposed to in his city-dwelling life.  He has seen the European wilderness and it was gorgeous.  When no one was shooting at anyone, Steve would let his imagination run wild within the forests of France and Germany.  Germany was a beautiful country and sometimes Steve felt bad for the reasons he was in it. 

It wasn’t Germany that was bad and nor were all the people shooting at him bad, despite the swastika on their uniforms.  In his opinion, Steve has met more Hydra members who were crazy than Nazis.  As for the S.S., he always felt that one cannot be a member of those forces without having a complete sense of nihilism and hatred of Jews. 

Yet, for all that, the American wilderness—what’s left of it—is all but unfamiliar to Steve.  What lies beyond those trees?  What sounds would fill his ears?  What could he fill the pages of his sketchbook with?  Of course, he could always buy another sketchbook, but the one that Natasha gave him is special.  Thus, he only uses it for truly special moments in his life.

Through the blanket of snow, Steve sees an old barn and then a house, both of which look about as old as him.  The barn looks like it has been remodeled several times, yet the wood remains as aged any of one of the trees surrounding the property.  The roof of it is covered in a blanket of snow like the icing of a delicious cake.  Likewise, the farmhouse has a similar blanket of snow upon it. 

The house itself features a wraparound porch that probably has many memories upon it.  The house isn’t huge, but it looks as if it has been expanded at least once or twice.  Assuming it’s where his family has always lived, how many generations of Clint’s family has it housed?  The world knows Hawkeye, the best archer and marksman the world has ever seen, but who is Clint Barton?  Who does he become once he passes that threshold? 

Probably for safety reasons, Steve sees no visible satellite dish.  For him, it increases that sense that of reminding him of a homestead from his days growing up in the twenties and thirties.  Now, this house most definitely has plenty of modern materials, as well as a highly secure internet service, but the nostalgia lessens the feeling of being out of place in the world. 

Some days, Steve still feels that he should be a ninety-something-year-old man living out the last of his days in a nursing home.  Now there are some periods in America’s history he doesn’t mind having not lived through, but he fears that there are plenty more ugly periods in the future of the country and the world. 

Looking at the property as a whole, he feels that he has entered a snow globe.  The whiteness is blinding, but the peacefulness is refreshing.  As a New Yorker, Steve is used to the ceaseless drone of vehicles, of the air ripe with exhaust and the smells of foods and wares as he walks down a street, and of the hustle and bustle of people trying to get from point A to point B.  No one really stops to actually talk to people anymore.  He has woken up to a less trusting society and the bulk of interactions are limited to meaningless messages through social media.

Here, in this vast openness, he can close his eyes and simply enjoy the comfortable silence.  He can let the snow fall upon him.  He can look out to the horizon and wonder what lies beyond it.  He has seen so little of the country he lives and now he truly wonders if he is still in America.  His world has only ever been New York City, Washington DC, and Camp Lehigh.  Now he is in a secluded farm in the American Midwest and a small part of him longs for its openness.  Where he lives, there are high concentrations of people and sometimes the population density is stifling even for him.

Steve could choose any spot of this place and draw or paint and he would not be in anyone’s way. 

“Earth to Rogers,” says Clint’s singsong voice. 

And just like that, Steve is brought back from the depths of his imagination.  Clint has stopped the car near the house.  The two of them are barely out of the car before two young children run towards Clint.  Steve stands back and watches with both admiration and awe and Clint kneels down to meet the oncoming children. 

“Hey, kids!” greets Clint, laughing.  The girl reaches him first and he picks her up with a dramatic groan.  The boy reaches him next and wraps his arms around his midsection. 

“Oh, Lila, you’re getting so big!” groans Clint.  “Why are you so big?”

“I’m getting older, Daddy,” laughs the girl named Lila. 

“It’s getting on my nerves,” complains the boy.

Clint laughs and ruffles the boy’s hair.  “Oh, Cooper, don’t pretend you don’t love your sister.”

Cooper rolls his eyes. 

Steve makes a small spectacle of himself.  He waits until he is addressed. 

“Steve.” 

He knows that voice.  He loves that voice.  That contralto huskiness which has all but held the beauty of a dramatic symphony and has served as the muse that makes his charcoals flow across the pages of his sketchbook.  His turns towards the sound of that voice and his eyes indeed land on Natasha.  She’s wearing a black turtleneck sweater and furry boots over her dark jeans.  Her hair is pinned back with a black kerchief covered in snowflakes. 

“Hello, gorgeous,” he greets before he can stop himself.  Can one really blame him?  She’s a beautiful woman; how often can he keep himself from expressing his admiration for her?  Now that Clint knows, there is one more person—or family—where he doesn’t have to conceal his feelings for Natasha Romanov around. 

He then feels a presence near him.  He looks down and sees who Clint just identified as Lila.  He kneels down to be at eye-level with her.  “Hi, my name is Steve, what’s yours?”

She blushes and tries to hide her face. 

“It’s okay, honey, you can tell him who you are,” Clint encourages. 

“I’m Lila, are you Auntie Nat’s boyfriend?” asks the little girl. 

Steve considers her innocent question.  He even fights back a smile as Natasha blushes.  Children are so brutally honest, it’s adorable.  He nods smugly.  “Yeah, I’m Auntie Nat’s boyfriend.”

Natasha scowls at his tone, but he only smiles. 

“Daddy, we’re making snowmen!” informs Cooper excitedly.

“You are?” asks Clint, enthused.  “Well, we can I help?”

“Only if Mom comes and helps,” replies Cooper.

“I agree, where is your mother?”

“Clint?”

Steve also follows the sound and his eyes land on a petite woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes.  He then looks at Clint and the biggest smile that he has ever seen on the man spreads across his face.  “Laura,” he breathes.  Steve watches as the two run and meet each other halfway.  Clint embraces his wife and lifts her off her feet. 

Steve suddenly understands why the man has gone to such great lengths to conceal this side of him.  If he had something like this, he also would move mountains to keep it a secret.

Laura Barton locks eyes with him as Clint sets her down.  “I already know your name.”

Steve grins.  “But I’ll introduce myself all the same,” he counters, stepping forward and extending his hand.  “Steve Rogers, ma’am.”

Laura grimaces as she grasps his hand and shakes it.  “Don’t call me ‘ma’am’; my name is Laura.”  She turns back towards Natasha.  “I think the two of you have a lot to talk about.  Kids, let’s give Auntie Nat and her boyfriend some privacy.”

Steve watches as the Bartons join hand and hand and walk towards the already large ensemble of snowmen.  He then turns towards Natasha and his face turns serious.

“Steve,” Natasha addresses.  “You want to come inside?  You look like you could use something hot to drink.”

Despite his turmoil, he smiles.  “I’d like that.”  They have so much to talk about.

Steve might have told her he loved her, but he barely begun to show her the extent of his feelings for her.  Hopefully she won’t run off again. 


	4. Chapter Four

Natasha is nervous.  It’s an unfamiliar emotion for her.  Even in the Red Room, when every day was a battle for survival, she didn’t feel nervous.  In those days, if anything, all she felt was a resolution that she might die one day.  Perhaps she survived the Red Room _because_ she wanted to die.  Her instructors knew when someone wasn’t putting in their best effort and the punishment was pain.  Not death, just lots and lots of pain. 

She invited Steve into her best friend’s house, offered him a hot drink, but after that neither of them broke the silence.  She watches him awkwardly as he walks around the house.  His gaze is thoughtful, curious even.  She knows that look, adores that look.  He’s an artist and he’s taking in every infinitesimal detail. 

Not long after they started dating, she encouraged him to start painting.  He hadn’t painted since before joined the Army.  Even without the use of pain and torture, Natasha knows how to get what she wants and she really wanted to see what Steve could do with a paintbrush.  He still prefers his charcoals, but he’s also exceptional with a paintbrush.

He also seems to have a photographic memory, so she wouldn’t be surprised if he painted or drew a memory with a suspicious resemblance to Clint and Laura’s living room. 

Right now, she wishes like hell he would say something.  Of course he would have followed her.  She ran off to her best friend’s house, a place no one knew about.  Who would Laura have been if she hadn’t called her husband and told him to bring Steve to their home? 

Natasha knew that eventually she would be forced to confront him, but she hoped that it wouldn’t have happened so soon.

He has barely met her eyes.  What would she see if he does?  Has she broken his heart?  Has she done exactly what he thought she would do? 

She wouldn’t mind if he would just call her a coward, or a bitch.  She feels like a bitch.  She upped and left. 

The silence is too much.  “Clint might not like the idea of you drawing something based off of his house,” she jokes, but she really is worried how he would feel about it.  It’s possible that not even the reassurance that Steve keeps his drawings to himself like a diary would put Clint at ease.  He protects his family with an iron fist.

“Then I won’t draw anything,” comes Steve’s eventual, though quiet reply.  Does she detect a sense of…jealousy or longing in his voice? 

She wouldn’t be surprised.  She also suppresses the urge to get up from her spot at the dinner table and wrap him in her arms.  It’s likely one of those moments he wishes he looked as old as he is.  She has no doubt he would have been a tremendous father and grandfather.  He still can be, just with new friends and colleagues. 

“Did you and Clint have much trouble getting here?” she asks.  “The holiday traffic must have been awful.”

“It calmed down a bit once we managed to put some distance between us and the city,” replies Steve.  He’s gripping the mug so hard; she’s worried it’s going to shatter in his hand.  He finally faces her and the anguish in his face couldn’t be clearer.  “Did I do something to upset you, Nat?”

She sits up straighter.  “You didn’t upset me,” she says clearly. 

“Then what was it?” demands Steve.  “I told you I…”

“Steve, don’t…” Natasha cuts him off.

 “ _I love you,”_ he finishes over her voice before she can cut him off.  Those words make her breath uneven.  “Is that a crime?”

She shakes her head.  Nothing makes her uneasy, other than the Hulk.  Steve doesn’t have the same predicaments as Bruce.  She can see how much he is hurting and it scares her.  Hurting his feelings scares her.  Not because it’s actually frightening, but because she hates being a source of sadness for him.

Steve calms down eventually and closes the distance between them.  Natasha sits frozen in her chair as he comes over and sits down in the chair beside her.  “I love you,” he repeats, gentler.  With no hesitation, he takes her hand in his and brings it to his lips.  “I love you,” he says again, as if it’s the most beautiful thing he has ever said.

Natasha closes her eyes.  The sensation of him kissing her hand so tenderly is overwhelming.

“How many people have told you that in your life?” asks Steve. 

Natasha opens her eyes again.  “I don’t remember the last time someone told me that,” she admits sourly.  Not even Alexei ever told her he loved her, but they didn’t have a real romance either.  The closest she came to loving anyone was Clint.  Then she found out he had a family of his own.  That was the first time she was ever truly heartbroken.  Still, his friendship, considering her a part of his family, is the best thing that ever happened to her. 

At least it was until Steve came into her life.  Even during the Battle of New York, they worked together like bread and butter.  She thinks that it might have been good for him, knowing that there was a woman working with him.  It’s what he is accustomed to and when he joined S.H.I.E.L.D., there was no one else that he wanted to work with.

She took it upon herself to integrate him into the twenty-first century.  She remembers the first time she made him laugh.  She was introducing him to Haagen-Dazs ice cream.  Normally, she is very refined, but in a rare moment of clumsiness, some kid bumped into her and she accidentally smashed her own ice cream cone in her face.

In the wake of her embarrassment, Steve laughed his head off.  She remembers scowling up at him.  With vanilla ice cream in her face, she’s sure she looked about as fierce as a puppy.  Eventually, even she started to smile when, out of pity for her, he smashed what was left of his own ice cream cone in his face. 

There they were, a soldier and a spy enjoying their first moment as just a pair of regular people.  He makes her feel human.  She knows for a fact that she gives him a sense of belonging in a world that has literally passed him by.   

“You didn’t run off just because I told you that I love you, did you?” asks Steve, but by his tone he might as well already know the answer. 

Natasha shakes her head in defeat. 

“Does it have anything to do with this?” Steve reaches into his pocket with his free hand and produces a small box. 

Natasha stops breathing.  She remembers clearly.  It was the middle of the night after they both fell asleep after their intense lovemaking.  Her mind was already racing over the fact that he said he loved her.  It came as no surprise when she woke up later.  Her head was pillowed against Steve’s chest and the covers were down at their waists. 

Tony had no qualms about electric bills, so there was no draft to give her chills.  She had extricated herself from Steve and wrapped herself up in a sheet as she got up to go stare out into the city.  In the City that Never Sleeps, holiday festivities were abound below.  Many high rises had lit up their upper floors with green and red.  She wouldn’t have been surprised if there were still Santa Clauses freezing their asses off collecting donations for the Salvation Army. 

Steve actually dropped a few twenties into a donation pail.  The Santa Claus next to it had widened his eyes for a minute or two and then broke out into a typical “Ho-ho-ho.”

Just as she was heading back to bed, she had spotted a small box in the trail of discarded clothes they left on their way to her bed.  Her curiosity got the better of her and she inspected it.  She knew exactly what it was before she even picked it up.  She had looked from the box to Steve’s sleeping form and back again. 

She packed up and left without even looking at what was inside. 

“Steve…” Natasha says eventually, but he shushes her softly by putting a finger to her lips.

“I’ll admit, I don’t know a lot about women,” he begins, “but I feel like I’m getting to know you better.  The fact that you ran off…what are you so scared of?”

Natasha opens her mouth, but no sound comes out. 

“ _Natasha, I know that you have red in your ledger_ ,” Steve continues.  He’s speaking Russian now.  “ _I know that there are terrible things that you have done in your life, but I don’t care about that.  I don’t care about the woman you were._ ”

“ _How do you know that that woman isn’t still there_?” sobs Natasha, continuing her native tongue.  “ _How do you know that I won’t be that monster again someday_?”

“ _I’ll stand by you and remind you of the woman I fell in love with_ ,” promises Steve.  “ _I wouldn’t have bought this ring if I didn’t know what I was signing up for.  I love all of you.  The good, the bad, the ugly—not that there is anything ugly about you_ ,” he adds quickly, registering her raised eyebrow.  “ _My point is that I’m aware of the things you’ve done, of the mistakes you have made, and the murders that still haunt you day and night.  I’m also aware of the snarky, beautiful, intelligent, deliciously dangerous pain in my ass that I’ve known these past couple of years.  I want all of it.  I’ll stand by her side for as long as she will let me_.”  

“ _Is that your vow_?” teases Natasha, but her voice is unsteady. 

“ _Only if you want it to be_.”  Natasha covers her mouth in both her hands as she watches her man get out of his chair and descend to one knee in front of her.  “ _Natalia Alianovna Romanova_ ,” he begins, opening the small box.  Natasha’s eyes fall upon an elegant silver band with singular pear-cut diamond in its middle.  “ _Will you marry me_?”     

Natasha doesn’t think she has ever cried happier tears in her whole life.  She eventually looks up from the ring to meet Steve’s eyes.  The hugest smile spreads across her face as a single word escapes her lips.

“ _Da_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously considered ending this chapter right before she gave him her answer. I'm in a good mood though.


	5. Chapter Five

At first, Steve couldn’t believe his ears.  She said yes.  She said yes!  If only she knew how nervous he was when he got down on one knee and showed her that ring.  He doesn’t know why he waited so long to tell her he loved her.  He has wanted to tell her that for months.  There were so many opportunities.  The first time they made love; his birthday; her birthday; that time that she ended up in a weeklong coma after suffering a stomach wound from some Hydra crony.  He will never tell anyone, but the engagement ring was something of an impulse buy.

He was out Christmas shopping and he walked by a department store.  He could have walked into a boutique.  Being an Avenger and a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent has granted him a considerable amount of money.  Yet he walked into a department store and passed by the jewelry section while shopping for an ugly sweater.  He and Natasha agreed to buy each other one nice sweater and a one ugly sweater. 

Indeed, there were plenty of ugly sweaters to choose from.  Christmas has always been a festive time, but it still baffles him how overboard people and merchandise can go in the wake of the holidays.  He ended up not buying any sweaters.  He found the rings too alluring. 

A kind lady helped talk him through all the rings.  He almost felt bad for her.  She seems thoroughly dismayed that she wasn’t the woman he was getting a ring for.  It took all of ten minutes for him to finally figure out that the rings she was showing him were all rings _she_ liked.  Natasha likes simple jewelry.  Sure, she sometimes wears gaudier jewelry, but that is usually for missions where, being the only woman in the Avengers, she ends up being the one to seduce their target into a place where they need them.

If only people knew how much self-control it took for Steve not smash a man’s hands with his shield just for groping her.  Sure, Natasha can do so much worse, but sometimes he would like to send a message of his own. 

His eyes landed on that pear-cut diamond ring, he knew it was the right one.  He just knew it.  He thought of holding onto it for a good while longer.  Yet in the space of just a couple of days, he has not only told Natasha Romanov he loves her, he _proposed_ to her. 

And she said yes!  A half hour later, he is still trying to wrap his head around it.  It all seems a blur.  One minute, he was down on one knee, declaring his ultimate love for this woman with a ring.  The next, he is pulling her out of the chair she was sitting in and kissing her, lifting her off her feet and swinging her around.  During which, Clint and his family came back into the house, all covered in snow. 

Looking unusually sheepish, Natasha showed everyone her finger.  Laura covered her mouth and squealed happily, then demanded that she be matron of honor.  Little Lila quietly grumbled.  It seemed she wanted to be the little maid of honor.  Steve let Natasha go and she walked over to the little girl.  She knelt in front of her and asked if she would like to be the flower girl. 

Lila nodded vigorously and hugged her.  Natasha has no idea how much it warms Steve’s heart to see how she interacts with Clint’s children.  She’s a woman to be reckoned with to most, a woman to love to him, and a beloved godmother to two very beautiful children.  She’s a Russian doll with many sides, many faces, and he is more than willing to marry into all those complications.

Laura then got started on dinner.  Figuring Natasha had done enough with that elaborate gingerbread house, Steve volunteered to help.  He peeled corn and chopped onions while Laura boiled potatoes for mashing.  It wasn’t until they got to working in the kitchen that Steve acknowledged the smell of the beef roast in the crockpot.  It smells so delicious; he needs to make sure to tell Laura what a great cook she is.  Does Clint have any culinary skills? 

At the Avengers Tower, Tony’s staff doesn’t leave much room for people to really indulge in much cooking.  Steve and Natasha cook for themselves.  Clint has never visited and times when Tony invited everyone for a big dinner, the food was taken care of by other people.  Steve is curious to see how Clint fares in the kitchen. 

Speaking of Clint, he’s been giving Steve weird glances since he came back into the house.  The weight of Clint’s stare is like a getting hit by a freight train, or simply an arrow.  Steve is quite worried that sooner or later he will find something, anything sharp sticking out of a major artery. 

Clint may have invited Steve into his home, but surely he never thought that his best friend would gain a fiancé.

Eventually, Steve and Laura get dinner ready and Lila and Cooper set the table.  When everyone is seated around the table, Steve finds himself next to Natasha across from Lila and Cooper with Laura and Clint at the foot and head of the table respectively. 

“So how did you and Auntie Nat meet?”

Steve, who was in the middle of dishing himself some mashed potatoes, looks up at Clint’s daughter.  She’s so young, but she has that same…hawk-like intensity in her gaze as her father does. 

He shares a look with Natasha, then Laura, then Clint.  How much exactly is he allowed to share with these children? 

“I’ll answer that for you, sweetie,” invites Natasha.  “We met each other at work.”  That is perfectly true.  “He called me ‘ma’am’,” she adds with a smirk. 

Steve scowls at her. 

“Ma’am?” repeats Lila and Cooper. 

“Steve, are you a grandpa?” asks Cooper. 

Ignoring all the adults’ quiet giggles, Steve turns his attention to the boy.  “No, but I’d like to be someday.”

“And it’s good to be a gentleman,” adds Laura, before taking a sip of apple cider.  “I kind of wish your father had those kinds of manners when we met each other.”

Clint, who was in the middle of swallowing a bite of roast, coughs.  Steve and Natasha cover their mouths to stifle their giggles. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” demands Clint, indignantly.

“Yeah, Mom, what do you mean?” asks Cooper. 

Laura smiles at her son.  “Well, I’ll tell you honey.  Your daddy was a stuck-up farm boy who loved bows and thought it would be fun to pick on a girl trying to keep up with her grades.”

Clint scoffs.  “As if you didn’t enjoy it?”

“Ew, you were trying to keep up with your grades?” asks Lila.  “School sucks!”

“See, someone agrees,” says Clint, clinking glasses with his daughter. 

Laura laughs, but it sounds a bit more like a snarl.  Steve exchanges glances with Natasha.  She looks like she is trying very hard to hide behind her glass of wine. 

“School might suck, sweetheart, but bad things can happen to people who grow up to be dummies,” lectures Laura. 

“Like Daddy?” pipes up Cooper. 

“Excuse me, young man?” snaps Clint.

Laura ignores him.  “Yes, honey, like Daddy.”

The rest of dinner descends into a battle of child-friendly insults between Laura and Clint.  Steve thought it was a little alarming at first, but then he saw Natasha lean back in her chair, apparently enjoying the show.  If she is relaxed, as are the children, then this must be normal behavior for the Bartons.  Surely enough, Clint and his wife aren’t really saying anything particularly hurtful to each other.

In a weird way, between the “You’re so in love with your bow, why don’t you just sleep with it?” and the “You’re just a sexy farm wench who still has to call me to figure out how to keep the tractor in repair,” they sound more in love than anyone Steve has ever seen. 

It’s too much.  He clears his throat.  “I’m sorry, but you’ll all have to excuse me.”  Without warning, and ignoring everyone’s voice of concern, he gets up and leaves the table.  He heads outside into the cold.  Once outside, he starts walking around aimlessly.  Tears well up in his eyes and he lets out a long, forlorn sigh. 

It’s not long before he hears footsteps behind him.  By the gracefulness of the gait, he doesn’t even have to look behind him. 

“This place is beautiful,” he says without turning around.  “I’m sure those children could live their whole lives here and be completely safe from all the awfulness that you and I face too often.  If Clint needed a place that he could come back to, a place where he could keep his family safe from the world, he couldn’t have picked a better place.”

He turns around and indeed sees Natasha.  “Would it sound hurtful if I told you I wasn’t sure if I was going to propose to you today?”

She raises an eyebrow.  He knows that he had better come up with an explanation. 

“Back in the forties, I never gave much thought to marriage, let alone women, even after I was given the serum,” Steve explains. “I was a ninety-five pound asthmatic who was sick more often than he was healthy.  Bucky pulled me along on his double dates because he was Bucky.  He was my best friend and the person I needed to help me get out and about.  I thought I’d be one of the thousands of soldiers coming home from the war, getting married and starting a family.  Seeing Clint and his family, it just reminds me of all that I didn’t get a chance to have.”

Natasha smiles and closes the distance between them, reaching up and cupping his cheeks in her warm hands.  “I think you dwell too much on what could have been and chances you never had.  You know that I’m sorry that saving the world the first time around robbed you of the life you had more than earned.  But forgive me for sounding selfish, but if you hadn’t spent seventy years as a human Popsicle, I wouldn’t have had such a handsome, caring, wonderful man propose to me just an hour ago.

“Look, I might not be able to give you children, but _I want you_ , Steve Rogers,” she declares firmly.  “Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or soon, but someday we can have something like this.  Someday I want to just retire with you, find a beautiful place live and grow old with you.  But I’m not waiting _that_ long to officially become your wife,” she adds with a smile. 

Steve laughs softly.  “ _Can_ we grow old?”

“I have no idea, but there’s no one else I’d rather spend however many years I’ll live with,” Natasha replies.  She shudders.  “Come on, let’s go back inside.  The kids want their Christmas Eve presents.”  She takes his hand and he lets her pull him along. 

“I don’t have a present for you, Nat,” Steve confesses ruefully.

Natasha whips back and gives him her most soul-shattering smile.  “Steve, your proposal was the best present anyone has ever given me.”  She turns back around and they head back to the house. 

Steve smiles happily.  That woman could not have said anything sweeter to him.  Still something bugs him.

How are they going to announce their relationship to the rest of their colleagues?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all enjoyed this story. 
> 
> And let me know in the comments who you'd all like to see find out about Steve and Natasha first. Bruce, Tony, Thor?

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Age of Ultron, so I hope everyone will forgive me if I seem to take creative liberty in describing Clint’s home. 
> 
> Age of Ultron had some good moments, but I think I’d rather watch Incredible Hulk. If nothing else, it helps to better grasp who Secretary Ross is as a person.


End file.
